So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
