Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
