dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
