I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
