You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
