I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
