And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Someone came in the potted fern
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
