sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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