The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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