You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize