What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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