is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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