No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
