Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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