Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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