youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
