so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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