Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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