my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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