Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
