I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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