I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
