My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
