How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
