no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize