This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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