brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
