I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
