you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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