you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
