those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize