worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
