Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
