but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
