she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
