and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Randomize
