I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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