I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
