We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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