Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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