My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize