I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
