God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
