he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
