Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want her autograph on my taint
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize