So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
