You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
