I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
