i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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