Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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