Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
