she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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