i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
