wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
