Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
