drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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