these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
