Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
