so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
