Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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